Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Paddlefish Prized Egg Poachers Peeve Police

Caviar Can be Costly, of course.

"Fish Growing Faster in Warming Waters"

"Fish are fattening up faster near the Pacific's surface, which is warming"

And, as we all know, the scientists can't get their grubby little fingers on enough of our fat.

"Great Lakes fish virus may threaten U.S. aquaculture"

"The pathogen, viral hemorrhagic septicemia, or VHS, causes internal bleeding in fish."

Well...obviously it's time for us to switch to DVD, HD-DVD, and Blu-Ray.

Hear this, America: BAN VHS!

Thursday, January 04, 2007

2006 a bad year for fish

Yes, they claim we can cure anything. Your kid's dumb? You should have been taking fish oil when you were pregnant. Going blind? Fish Oil is the answer. Cardiovascular system out of whack? FISH OIL! Alzheimer's disease?


Monday, November 20, 2006

It's that time of year, again.

Ladies, Gentlemen, Fishes, Tadpoles, Cephalopods, and our millions of illegal aliens...

Yes, the day Americans take up their knives forks and attempt to exterminate the most fowl creature in the World, the Tasty Turkey, from existence is upon us.

Thankfully most of the Fish kind will be spared during this feast of celebration, and such as myself could not be MORE thankful.

Pass some of that Turkey to me....could you take the hook out of that, please?

Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Tuesday, August 08, 2006


"the secret of Mark's well balanced diet is fish heads!"


Frozen Feathered Roadkill

21 Penguins survive, some Penguins die.

ALL of the fish on the truck died.

Who gets the headlines?

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Fish "Dead Zones"

"You should see what I see."

"Fish Counterattack"

An excellent case of self defense; sometimes we bite back.

"If you can't take a little bloody nose, maybe you ought to go back home, and crawl under your bed. It's not safe out here. It's wonderous; with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross....but it's not for the timid."

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Quote of the Day (August 3, 2006)

Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert:

"They are tasty fishes"

I find this comparison(suggested by the AP reporter) of Ez-bola leaders to fishes extremely offensive; at no time has any fish ever been a sponsor or sympathizer with terrorism or it's ideals...

...except maybe a few sharks off the coast of Florida every year or two, but that is an extreme minority of fishes(and even sharks, for that matter). This, on the other hand, is an old stereotype of killer fish that has lingered for millenia; spread in stories from port to port, and it must stop.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Grand Opening!

Welcome aboard, passengers. Strap yourselves in and prepare for the greatest underwater adventure of them all!